I'm Sorry

I... I didn't want this.

Christ, what if they report me for this?

I did not want this. Not in front of everyone; Dad's being questioned now because of me.

It was meant to be just us two, in our locked room, like every other month. But I just had to lose control.

Okay, I'll explain. The group had gone to some underground fight club thing whilst I was sleeping. I got there partway through - people taking turns in matches while I sat in the crowd with all these rowdy spectators. Couldn't see much over the safety barriers, but I watched anyway.

Sammy from that queer café in town was there, and she did something with pyrotechnics that absolutely triggered my fire phobia. Massive flames shooting up - must have been twenty metres high, nearly hit the ceiling! Even though I'd been giving her grief from the crowd.

I didn't heckle Dad, obviously. But after jeering at a few matches, I felt it happen.

The pain was agonising, like it is every month. But this wasn't the right time - I wasn't under Her watch, wasn't in our safe space. My whole body felt like it was burning from the inside out as I changed. And the worst part wasn't even the agony.

It was everyone seeing it.

I'm terrified. Only Runara and Dad were supposed to know. I've read about the trials they used to do to people like us. If we were lucky, it was quick. If not... they'd use our pyrophobia against us. Make us think we were burning alive while crowds watched. All in the name of "purification" or some religious bollocks, even though we barely ever hurt anyone.

Purification my arse. It's torture, plain and simple. They'd schedule these "trials" during full moons on purpose. I can't imagine what it must have felt like, being burned while everyone watched.

I hope I can get through this. For Dad's sake mostly. I'm grateful he jumped the barrier after everyone scattered. Using his jacket to cover me afterward was... thank you for that, Dad. I know you're scared for me too.